There’s No Hate Like Christian Love

You’ve probably heard the phrase before:

There’s no hate like Christian love.

And for many of us who’ve left religion, it feels true. But let’s pause. Not to bash. Not to defend. But to actually look from both sides.

I Was That Christian.

I spent over 30 years in it, really trying. Trying to live right, love people, and serve God. I believed that was the only path. I wanted others to follow it because I believed it was about saving their souls. And one thing we were taught over and over again was:

“Love the sinner, hate the sin.”

Call it out. Correct it. For their own good.

But That Line Gets Blurry. Fast.

Because when you’re taught to see someone’s life, identity, or beliefs as sin…you can’t really separate the sin from the person. You think you’re loving them, but what comes out feels like judgment, rejection, and control. Even if it’s meant with good intentions.

Now Flip the Viewpoint:

When you’ve been deeply wounded by religion. When you’ve experienced spiritual abuse, shame, or fear-based control, even the smallest comments can trigger that pain again. Things as simple as a scripture quote. A comment about “truth”. Someone telling you you’re “living wrong.”

It feels like spiritual violence.Because it is. No one has the right to tell you that your life is wrong just because it doesn’t match their belief system.

So Now We Have Two Sides:

☝️ One trying to “love” in a way that often comes off as moral policing. Arrogant, controlling, and fear-based. And ironically, that kind of love drives people even further from that belief system.

✌️ The other deeply hurt, trying to heal from years of religious trauma, constant shame, guilt, and never feeling good enough. And sometimes, so raw that even gentle disagreement feels like a weapon.

It’s a fine line. And it’s a hard one.

So Maybe the Answer Isn’t in Being Right.

Maybe it’s in honoring that every path is different. That people wake up in different ways. At different times. Through different experiences. And real love, the kind beyond any religion, doesn’t need to agree.

It just needs to respect. Your soul is yours to walk. Mine is mine. Let’s just love each other today.